Your employee is underperforming.
You're not afraid of the conversation.You're afraid of saying the wrong thing.
Say It Right is a 30-minute prep kit for your first serious underperformance conversation: the exact words to open with, what to say when they push back, what improvement should look like, and what to write down afterward.
$59 after launch · Founding preorder · Delivered by October 12, 2026
- “What if I sound too harsh?
- “What if they disagree?
- “What if they get defensive?
- “What if they say nobody ever told me this?
What if they say…
You could say
“If I haven't been clear enough about that expectation before, that's useful feedback for me too. I want to make sure we're clear from this point forward.”
This is probably where you are
You know their performance isn't where it needs to be.
Deadlines are slipping.
The quality has dropped.
You've already noticed the pattern more than once.
And now you know you need to have the conversation.
The problem is nobody really taught you how to have this conversation.
- “How direct am I supposed to be?
- “How many examples should I bring?
- “Do I mention everything, or just the clearest example?
- “What if they disagree?
- “What if they get defensive?
- “What if they cry?
- “What if they say nobody ever told them?
- “What if I realize my expectations were never actually clear?
- “Should HR know?
- “What do I document?
- “How do I finish without saying something vague like “just improve”?
You don't want to be unfair.
But you also don't want to soften the conversation so much that they leave without understanding there is actually a problem.
Waiting doesn't make it smaller.
- Another missed deadline.
- Another teammate quietly picking up the slack.
- Another week where they don't know what needs to change.
Handle it while it's still a conversation — not a crisis.
Use this even if you never buy anything
Before you say anything, answer these 3 questions.
- 1
What exactly happened?
Not what you think it says about them. What happened, in a way a third person could confirm.
Judgment
- They're careless.
- They have a bad attitude.
- They don't seem committed.
Observable
“The client report was due Thursday at 3 PM and was submitted Friday morning after two follow-ups.”
A judgment starts an argument about who they are. An observation gives you both something concrete to discuss.
- 2
What should have happened instead?
“Communicate better” feels clear in your head. It isn't.
Too vague
- Communicate better.
Does it mean…
- Flag the blocker earlier?
- Respond faster?
- Send a status update?
- Escalate before the deadline?
An expectation should be clear enough that both of you would agree on whether it happened.
- 3
What does “fixed” look like?
If you can't describe success, they can't aim at it, and you can't recognize it when it arrives.
Vague
- Be more proactive.
Measurable
“If you think a deadline may slip, I need to know at least one business day beforehand, along with what's blocking you and what support you need.”
Now there's a standard you can both check next week, instead of a feeling you'll both remember differently.
If you cannot answer these three questions clearly, you may not be ready for the meeting yet.
It's better to discover that before the conversation than halfway through it.
A fair question to ask yourself first
Is this actually a performance problem… or have I failed to make the expectation clear?
Good management doesn't mean avoiding accountability.
It means making sure you're holding someone accountable for an expectation they could reasonably understand.
Tick what you can honestly answer “yes” to. 0/8
How you'll use it
It's 15 minutes before the meeting.
Instead of opening Google again…
or asking ChatGPT another version of “How do I give difficult feedback without sounding rude?”
you open one page.
Now you're not walking into the meeting hoping you'll find the right words.
You know what you actually need to discuss.
Keep it beside your laptop
Conversation Card
- Issue
- Three client deliverables missed the agreed deadline.
- Example
- April report due Thursday 3 PM → delivered Friday 10:20 AM.
- Impact
- Client review delayed; a teammate had to finish part of the work.
- Expected standard
- Deliver by the agreed deadline, or flag risk at least one business day beforehand.
- Question
- “What has been getting in the way of meeting these deadlines?”
- What fixed looks like
- Upcoming deadlines met, or risks escalated early with a recovery plan.
- Follow-up
- Review again next Friday.
The moment most managers fear
And then comes the part most scripts don't prepare you for.
- “I disagree.”
- “Nobody ever told me this.”
- “My previous manager was fine with how I worked.”
- “You're micromanaging me.”
- “This isn't fair.”
- “Why are you targeting me?”
What most of us do when that happens
- Start explaining more
- Repeat ourselves
- Defend ourselves
- Add more examples
- Fill every silence
The Stop Talking Rule
Say less than you planned. Then wait.
Silence can feel incredibly long when you're the manager. You'll want to fill it. Don't rush.
Give them room to answer. You may discover context you didn't know. You may discover the expectation genuinely wasn't clear. You may also discover they simply disagree.
But you can't learn any of that while you're still talking.
- 1State the issue.
- 2Give the example.
- 3Explain the expected standard.
- 4Ask for their perspective.
- 5Then stop talking.
A sample from the Response Library
What if they say: “Nobody ever told me.”
The reflex
“Yes I did.”
First, check honestly
- 1.Was the expectation actually explicit?
- 2.Was previous feedback clear?
- 3.Can you point to when it was discussed?
If the answer is no, try
“If I haven't been clear enough about that expectation before, that's useful feedback for me too. I want to make sure we're clear from this point forward.”
That does not remove accountability.
It removes ambiguity.
The complete toolkit includes scenarios for disagreement, defensiveness, blame, anger, silence, emotional reactions and more.
If it gets emotional
What if they cry?
Don't
- Panic
- Instantly withdraw the feedback
- Become cold or clinical
Do
- Give them a moment
- Let them compose themselves
- Offer a short pause if it helps
- Continue respectfully when they're ready
Emotion does not automatically mean the conversation went wrong.
Your job isn't to prevent every uncomfortable feeling. It's to handle the conversation fairly and professionally.
After the meeting
One mistake that becomes painful later: waiting too long to document.
Send a simple follow-up email while everything is still fresh.
Not because every conversation needs to become an HR case.
Because six weeks later, memory is unreliable.
What to record
- Date
- Issue discussed
- Concrete example
- Their explanation
- Expectation communicated
- Support offered
- Agreed next step
- Deadline
- Follow-up date
The whole method
Not
How do I win the confrontation?
How do I make them admit they're wrong?
Instead
- 1What happened?
- 2Why does it matter?
- 3What was expected?
- 4What is their perspective?
- 5What needs to change?
- 6By when?
- 7What happens next?
That is the conversation.
Everything in the toolkit helps you answer those questions before you sit down.
What's in the conversation kit
A meeting-in-a-box, from prep to paper trail.
30-Minute Conversation Prep
Work through the facts before the meeting, not during it.
The First 60 Seconds
Know how to start without spending five minutes nervously circling around the issue.
Facts vs Feelings
Turn judgments into observable behavior.
“What Does Fixed Look Like?”
Replace vague expectations with measurable ones.
The “What If They…” Library
Prepare for disagreement, defensiveness, blame, silence, crying, anger and “nobody told me.”
The Stop Talking Card
A reminder for the moment you feel yourself overexplaining.
Hidden Blocker Check
Work out whether the problem is motivation, skill, workload, unclear expectations or something else.
Follow-Up Email
Leave both of you with the same understanding.
Documentation Template
Record the facts while they're still fresh.
Progress Tracker
Make sure the conversation actually leads somewhere.
One-Page Meeting Card
Keep the entire conversation beside your laptop.
$59 after launch · Founding preorder · Delivered by October 12, 2026
“Can't I just Google this?”
You absolutely can Google these questions or ask ChatGPT.
The information isn't secret.
The value is having the right questions, scripts, scenarios and follow-up tools organized around one specific meeting.
- how to give performance feedback
- what if employee cries
- how to respond to disagreement
- documentation template
- follow-up email after feedback
- how to set expectations
- how to handle defensiveness
You don't need to become an expert manager tonight.
- You don't need another 6-hour leadership course.
- You don't need the perfect script.
You need to know
- 1what happened
- 2what needs to change
- 3what you're going to say
- 4what you'll ask
- 5what you'll do afterward
$59 after launch · Founding preorder · Delivered by October 12, 2026
Built for one moment, on purpose.
This is for you if…
- You were promoted in the last year or so
- One person's performance has been bothering you for weeks
- You want to be direct without being harsh
- You want a written record of what was agreed
It's not for you if…
- You need a PIP, termination or legal process (follow HR)
- The issue involves harassment, accommodations or a protected characteristic
- You want a general leadership course
Founding Edition
Get in before launch.
Reserve the complete Say It Right conversation kit at the founding price.
The price increases to $59 when the Founding Edition closes.
Everything in the conversation kit
- 30-Minute Conversation Prep
- The First 60 Seconds
- Facts vs Feelings
- “What Does Fixed Look Like?”
- The “What If They…” Library
- The Stop Talking Card
- Hidden Blocker Check
- Follow-Up Email
- Documentation Template
- Progress Tracker
- One-Page Meeting Card
Founding buyers receive
- The complete toolkit
- The $39 founding price
- All future updates to this edition
- Early access before the public launch
Founding Edition
$59 after launch
Save $20 before launch
You're joining before the final public release, so founding customers receive the lowest price.
- Delivery
- October 12, 2026
- How you receive it
- You'll receive the complete toolkit by email when it is ready.
No delivery risk. If the complete toolkit is not delivered by the stated delivery date, you can request a full refund.
Founding preorder · Delivered by October 12, 2026
This is a founding preorder.
The toolkit is currently being finalized and will be delivered by October 12, 2026.
Founding customers receive the complete toolkit, early access, and all updates to this edition.
Refund policyBuilt around the recurring problems first-time managers repeatedly describe when preparing for difficult performance conversations.
Questions before buying
The things you're probably wondering.
You can, and for a single question it may be all you need. The difference is that this kit is organized around one specific meeting: preparation, wording, pushback, expectations, follow-up and documentation in one structured system, instead of fifteen separate prompts you have to piece together.
No. It's intentionally narrow: a practical kit for preparing and handling one specific moment, your first serious underperformance conversation. There are no video lessons to sit through.
No. Formal disciplinary procedures, PIPs, terminations, accommodations, harassment, protected issues and legal questions should always follow your organization's HR and legal processes. If you're unsure whether HR should know, ask them. That's part of their job.
Then your organization's HR process comes first. This kit is designed for the conversation before formal action. The prep, facts-vs-feelings and documentation tools can still help you get clear on what to say, but they don't replace your company's formal process.
Yes. That situation is often harder, because the relationship already exists. Focusing on observable facts and a clear expected standard helps keep the conversation about the work rather than the friendship.
The core workflow is designed to take about 30 minutes once you have your facts and examples in front of you.
A practical digital conversation kit: the 30-minute prep worksheet, opening scripts, the “What If They…” response library, the Stop Talking Card, a hidden blocker check, a follow-up email, a documentation template, a progress tracker and a one-page meeting card. It's delivered by email once finalized.
Not yet. This is a Founding Edition preorder. The toolkit is currently being finalized and will be delivered by October 12, 2026. Your purchase reserves the $39 founding price, compared with the planned $59 public launch price, and includes all updates to this edition.
Founding customers are buying before the final public release, so they receive the lowest price. The Founding Edition is $39 during preorder and will increase to $59 when the toolkit launches publicly.
If the complete toolkit is not delivered by the stated delivery date, you can request a full refund.
Yes. You can cancel your preorder for a full refund any time before the toolkit is delivered. After delivery, if it doesn't help you, you can request a refund within 7 days. Just email contact@bothstories.com.
It doesn't have to be perfect.
It does need to be clear.
Reserve for $39$59 after launch · Founding preorder · Delivered by October 12, 2026